As The World Turns

I'm stressing myself out.

I guess its really crunch time and I'm being crunched.... by myself

1)big project I'm working on and I can really feel it and I'm not happy about it.
I dont like the pressure. some people can cope with it. I can cope too but I hate it.
and when I hate it, i dont enjoy the work and i produce crap as a result.

2) maybe because also at the back of my mind is should I stay or migrate.I have the pressure, opportunity and ability to go elsewhere.
hot or cold, two extremes.
here its nice comfy, hot, warm, recognizable, safe
there its cold, cold,unknown, unknown
maybe I should go to just experience life outside of here.
thing is I'm too clingy to what i have right now... sigh....

3) I dont know what i really want to do right now. there is no sense of direction. of a destination to reach for.

so when all 3 adds up, it sucks big time.
damn...