Tuesday, January 25, 2005

one small step

one small step at a time
one small step at a time
one small step at a time
many small steps adds up to a big step
many big steps adds up to where u wanna be
i got flustered today cos of apparent deadlines
got very hyper and worked up
but in the end it was not to be
so but i learned some stuffs today
its small stuffs
so bit by bit i am getting there
one leg forward, now the other leg follow......

Monday, January 24, 2005

Roller Coaster

Its 25 days into the new year and 14 days to the new chinese lunar new year. Almost right bang in the middle.
Last couple of days anxiety attacks, unwarranted worry, setting a roller coaster ride of emotions over stresses of a new job, am i up to it? can i do it? blah blah blah

A net chat with a fren gave some hope and then bang this morning, opened my mail, there was my daily inspirational bite, which i hardly read these days but was inspired today, perhaps grasping at whatever straws that came and BANG rite in face it told me to smile.......

Hmmmm its realy weird how something like this, like this daily email, could be so so accurate in describing how i feel and basically telling me to stop being an idiot and be who i can be.... :D

I think there is a god after all...I did ask for help the other day........another revelation...last was in church 20+ years ago..... although been in many temples since....still.....its not the house, its who's in the house....

A big THANK YOU.......

Thursday, January 13, 2005

13 days into the new year

Hmmm its 13 days into the new year already...god how time moves, too fast!

today it struck me i am really getting to the top of the hill as far as life goes, for months I've been seeing the effects, blurring vision, slowing metabolism...today the white stuff on the head has started to blossom....sigh...


anyways, to back pedal a bit, to my eye exam, which was also an awakening prelude to the discovery of the white stuff, i found out my cornea was too thin for regular lasik so i gotta do another version called lasek. basically they are the same except the technique in how the flap is created is different. lasek will have less complications from flap problems but the trade off is a LOT more pain and and discomfort post surgery. But reputedly better for the long term. It also means I cant do both eyes at once and will have to do it one eye at a time, bit of an inconvenience but what the heck.. I'm going for it, cant wait for the day i dont need my glasses anymore! first eye schduled to be corrected on the 28th.......second one is nex month...

After i last climbed any sort of mountain over 14 years ago, i've signed up with a group of ppl to go an climb mt kinabalu! from the iterinary it looks a lot easier than climbing mt ophir... but will be colder given its over 10,000 feet high, i think its 12,000 plus if i remember correctly. yayyy back to climbing again...need to train up! something to aim at now.

On the job front, I think i'm easing into it better now that I've got a much better picture as to what i need to do and also how i want to do it. Lets see how things turn out. going to kl for 2 days next week. gonna be busy. I'm eyeing that BMW so i'm going to make this work, one way or another :P

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Its a Brand New Year

its been a terrible and tragic end for a lot of people on boxing day

the pictures and views of the sea rolling ashore like in a godzilla movie will forever be imprinted in my mind

a moment of silence and prayers for those who lost their lives or families

i remember 14 months ago, i was in an classroom workshop exercise

that exercise required me to choose

to choose to live or to choose to die

I chose to be a hero and die

Though it was a workshop, I had the chance to possibly experience what was it like to be dead,

I didnt like it, because I 'm not finished with life!

The lesson learnt was if you want to help people you have to be alive!!

I have the power within me to make the world a better place for those around me who are still alive

therein lies my biggest contribution

I can't change or rescue the whole world

I most certainly can do what i can for my little corner of the world

One other lesson I learnt was to do things in little bits, many little bits makes up a bigger bit and so you grow

By sheer coincidence (really??) the radio's now playing a song called "Join the Caravan of Love"

Indeed join I shall and deliver my love to those around me

I'm looking forward to this year

I get to do things and I'm thankful for it

2005 here I come!!

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