As The World Turns

this question has been bugging me, knawing at me, eating me from the inside out
i am searching for this holy grail of life
i am hoping that if i do find the answer to this it will give me a reason to live
as it is i am juz plugging on a day at time, with no real aim or purpose
other than to exist, this existential living is like cage
i dun feel a real freedom
i've realised i scowl and frown more and more each day
its easy, just let gravity take its path
it will pull all yr facial muscles downwards
so why am i here
its funny
last nite i had a mjor gout attack
it got so bad despite taking my oral med it wouldn't let me sleep as it was so painful i was actually grunting
i finally went to see the doc for a jab and paid a bomb for it
coming back home turning on the tv i saw that the pope had died
sheer coincidence that i was kept up all nite in pain?
funny i had been thinking of going back to church
if only for finding out what i am meant to do on this earth
so why am i here