You must go after your wishSunday, January 22, 2006
Dreams... soon
In quantum physics, as applied to human beings, there is a theory that at the sub-sub-sub-atomic level we all have particles that exists in each one of us that are the one and the same. In other words, I have what you have. Some of us have more of these common particles than others, hence the "clicking" effect. You know the bit where you meet someone for the first time and somehow you feel like you've known them forever and get along fabulously.
So what this means is that what we do can have an impact on someone somewhere else, although they may not know it and that also explains the mulitude of gut feels, hunches, premonitions, sixth senses that we get. Hence the butterfly effect.
Back to the present;
So I've been wallowing in my own despair about ever finding out what I ever want to do or be and posted a piece on this. Jomel comes along adds her 100 dollars worth (this is valuable!), then I go and surf her blog and comes across her twin Poison who had just (!) posted a similar piece along the same lines and whoa, coincidence? conspiracy ? More to come, just got off the goggle box watching a story on Genghis Khan and basically what drove this bloke into being the greatest conqueror of all time was his dream. Hmmm.... a universal conspiracy it seems, even the Discovery Channel is involved.
Some butterfly has been busy flapping its wings heavily and getting all of us to jiggle to the Why Me? dance.
Now, a quote from Tim's book since this is my favourite subject at the moment:
"Things are not what they seem, and yet they are. There's a secret no one is telling you, that you already know. But don't worry. You aren't the only one thinking about this. Don't look for the answers. Be the answer."
I had a dream, now I got to remember where I doggone put it.
So what this means is that what we do can have an impact on someone somewhere else, although they may not know it and that also explains the mulitude of gut feels, hunches, premonitions, sixth senses that we get. Hence the butterfly effect.
Back to the present;
So I've been wallowing in my own despair about ever finding out what I ever want to do or be and posted a piece on this. Jomel comes along adds her 100 dollars worth (this is valuable!), then I go and surf her blog and comes across her twin Poison who had just (!) posted a similar piece along the same lines and whoa, coincidence? conspiracy ? More to come, just got off the goggle box watching a story on Genghis Khan and basically what drove this bloke into being the greatest conqueror of all time was his dream. Hmmm.... a universal conspiracy it seems, even the Discovery Channel is involved.
Some butterfly has been busy flapping its wings heavily and getting all of us to jiggle to the Why Me? dance.
Plagiarising from Poison's blog;
"..I've tried to get over my broken dreams but I am too afraid to dream again."
That is exactly my problem. Fear. Over 40 years of the memories of social conditioning, moderate successes and flat out failures had basically covered my dreams in a pile of volcanic - don't want to do that again - ash so deep I need dynamite to dig them out again.
Like there is the fight or flight response, there is also the fright and freeze response, I'm frightened of what's out there so I freeze, don't move, status quo is better more comfy than moving.. So at present I've frozen on dreaming or at least it's easier to dream about frolicking on a nice tropical beach.
As a toddler or a kid, you have no inhibitions, just go do it. As an adult, face, image, etc throws up the wall Inhibitions. And you stand there just staring at the damn thing. Well Genghis Khan, while on his way to conquer China had a similar problem with the great wall of China. But he was an overgrown kid, he just simply went around it. Kids would have done it, but adults would stand and frown and scheme about bringing the wall down. So be a kid again.
Now, a quote from Tim's book since this is my favourite subject at the moment:
"Things are not what they seem, and yet they are. There's a secret no one is telling you, that you already know. But don't worry. You aren't the only one thinking about this. Don't look for the answers. Be the answer."
I had a dream, now I got to remember where I doggone put it.
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Hi, just flying past blogs and happened to read yours, esp the post on QP. Don't mind if I politely ask, what does it mean to you if you find inter-connectedness with others? Esp since that QP theory has satisfied you to a certain extent.
Personally, I doubt if that will be your Holy Grail if the inter-connectedness is not meaningful to you.
I'm in mid-life too, and I know that the search for meaningful engagement, direction or fulfilment is not easy. I think the mind has a major part to play with it. The mind is NOT to be played, but to be fed with meaningful knowledge that you can choose, so as to avoid confusion or depression in life. And even with all knowledge, it may be best to cast that aside and move on (not drift) to reality. Like, serve charity, make an impact on lives, give time to others - as St Francis of Assisi said (I'm not Catholic by the way), "that in giving, you receive".
Do pardon me if I sound naggy like a mother (I am a mother, btw), but I'm resopnding only because I can "connect" with you by reading the tone of your posts. Do hope you'll snap out of it, and hopefully, in due course, you'll find yourself.
Have a good run ahead. Triathlon, that is. :-) And hope the gout heals.
Personally, I doubt if that will be your Holy Grail if the inter-connectedness is not meaningful to you.
I'm in mid-life too, and I know that the search for meaningful engagement, direction or fulfilment is not easy. I think the mind has a major part to play with it. The mind is NOT to be played, but to be fed with meaningful knowledge that you can choose, so as to avoid confusion or depression in life. And even with all knowledge, it may be best to cast that aside and move on (not drift) to reality. Like, serve charity, make an impact on lives, give time to others - as St Francis of Assisi said (I'm not Catholic by the way), "that in giving, you receive".
Do pardon me if I sound naggy like a mother (I am a mother, btw), but I'm resopnding only because I can "connect" with you by reading the tone of your posts. Do hope you'll snap out of it, and hopefully, in due course, you'll find yourself.
Have a good run ahead. Triathlon, that is. :-) And hope the gout heals.
Mother Superior!!! Thanks for coming by...
Gosh, you're NOT naggy if anything, it tells me you are genuine *hugs*. Thanks for the knock on the head, you're right, been taking me tooo long to snap out of it.
On QP, inter-connectedness doesn't really satisfy me but explains to me, why, I could possibly be acting the way I do and how I can deal with it. Also explains how I "connected" with you on your flyby *cheesy grin*
Since coming over here, I've to deal with starting my career all over again like being a clerk, having given up on nice paying jobs in SG. So that has bugged me. Not to mention the grey hair and the reading glasses popping out now.
I sadly (another bugbear), do not have any kids to keep me occupied and so I've got lots of time to reflect on where I am, not so good sometimes. Being in a place as idyllic and reclusive as here also gets you thinking too much. I live in the mountains btw.
So my Holy Grail, is really as you said, the search for my direction and meaning in life.
Your thoughts, "Maybe serve charity, make an impact on lives, give time to others" echoes something I used to do after I got retrenched during SARS. I became a personal trainer then and it was pretty rewarding. I actually still support some of my ex-clients long distance :) so thanks for planting that little seed again! Mucho Gracias
I'm not catholic either, but I did devote 10 years to a Catholic school :P
Brother Flyer
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Gosh, you're NOT naggy if anything, it tells me you are genuine *hugs*. Thanks for the knock on the head, you're right, been taking me tooo long to snap out of it.
On QP, inter-connectedness doesn't really satisfy me but explains to me, why, I could possibly be acting the way I do and how I can deal with it. Also explains how I "connected" with you on your flyby *cheesy grin*
Since coming over here, I've to deal with starting my career all over again like being a clerk, having given up on nice paying jobs in SG. So that has bugged me. Not to mention the grey hair and the reading glasses popping out now.
I sadly (another bugbear), do not have any kids to keep me occupied and so I've got lots of time to reflect on where I am, not so good sometimes. Being in a place as idyllic and reclusive as here also gets you thinking too much. I live in the mountains btw.
So my Holy Grail, is really as you said, the search for my direction and meaning in life.
Your thoughts, "Maybe serve charity, make an impact on lives, give time to others" echoes something I used to do after I got retrenched during SARS. I became a personal trainer then and it was pretty rewarding. I actually still support some of my ex-clients long distance :) so thanks for planting that little seed again! Mucho Gracias
I'm not catholic either, but I did devote 10 years to a Catholic school :P
Brother Flyer
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