You must go after your wishSunday, May 21, 2006
An interesting email I got
Got this email from a buddy, farnee.....
Enjoy
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According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
1) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
2) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
1) Something loose in cockpit.
2) Something tightened in cockpit.
1) Dead bugs on windshield.
2) Live bugs on back-order.
1) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
2) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
1) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
2) Evidence removed.
1) DME volume unbelievably loud.
2) DME volume set to more believable level
.
1) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
2) That's what they're there for.
1) IFF inoperative.
2) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
1) Suspected crack in windshield.
2) Suspect you're right.
1) Number 3 engine missing.
2) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
1) Aircraft handles funny.
2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
1) Target radar hums.
2) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
1) Mouse in cockpit.
2) Cat installed.
Enjoy
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According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
1) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
2) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
1) Something loose in cockpit.
2) Something tightened in cockpit.
1) Dead bugs on windshield.
2) Live bugs on back-order.
1) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
2) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
1) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
2) Evidence removed.
1) DME volume unbelievably loud.
2) DME volume set to more believable level
.
1) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
2) That's what they're there for.
1) IFF inoperative.
2) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
1) Suspected crack in windshield.
2) Suspect you're right.
1) Number 3 engine missing.
2) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
1) Aircraft handles funny.
2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
1) Target radar hums.
2) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
1) Mouse in cockpit.
2) Cat installed.
Comments:
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harharhar!
I liked this one best:
1) Aircraft handles funny.
2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
I should send this to my pilot cousin.. ;)
I liked this one best:
1) Aircraft handles funny.
2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
I should send this to my pilot cousin.. ;)
# posted by 
: 21/5/06 11:10 PM
: 21/5/06 11:10 PM
Har Har, I need to copy n paste this too!!! Too funny!! And send it to my best friend who's head of engineering at MAS!!
may, GOLDILOCKS TODAY!
ya one of the better lines!
L B, THE SILVER SURFER!
wait he start doing gripes like then he know! LOL
Simple American, THE BRONZED DUDE!
wakkaakaaa LOL
angel, THE AMAZING FLUFFY WINGS!
lucky u got wings... and not whiskers..:P
Cocka Doodle, ANOTHER FLUFFY WING!
err dun tahan leh, wait kena lai siong....:D
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ya one of the better lines!
L B, THE SILVER SURFER!
wait he start doing gripes like then he know! LOL
Simple American, THE BRONZED DUDE!
wakkaakaaa LOL
angel, THE AMAZING FLUFFY WINGS!
lucky u got wings... and not whiskers..:P
Cocka Doodle, ANOTHER FLUFFY WING!
err dun tahan leh, wait kena lai siong....:D
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